5:14 is hilarious.
I can understand and sympathize with the freakout but…damn. This is why you ALWAYS fucking get shipping insurance.
This reminds me of a hectic week I had back in January of 2005.
Story Time folks…
I procrastinated, procrastinated and procrastinated writing this fucking paper that was due for an MPA class that I was taking and I had a little less than two weeks to finish it. I was checking out some porn sites (I’m not going to lie about looking at porn sites because I think most straight men my age with the internet looks at porn) and I noticed that my monitor was turning on and off every couple of seconds. I panicked because I thought I was getting some kind of horrible virus that allowed someone from a remote computer to fuck with my computer (I obviously didn’t know that much about viruses back then) so I asked my friend Tobiah what was going on (Toby’s a “computer whiz”) and he said “It’s not a virus. Your monitor is just dying.”
So I looked at LCD monitors online (I figured I would save a trip to the store that way) and I found a really excellent deal on a monitor being sold through Amazon.com. I ordered the monitor, got expedited shipping to my P.O. Box on campus. chose the “one day shipping” and then..I get a call from Fedex saying that they can’t deliver the item to my box.
So I give them my “Apartment style dorm” address and the woman over the phone says “Okay, we’ll deliver it sometime tomorrow.”
So I call in sick from work, get up early the next day and I wait all fucking day and…nothing. That night I check the tracking number I got from FedEx and it says that my package was delivered to a J Lowe. I get really pissed and I call Fedex the next morning and ask if I can get a refund because they delivered my package to the wrong person. So what do they do? They keep transferring me to different people all fucking day until I FINALLY get to talk to one of the people who handles refunds and she says “Sometime Monday we’ll call you again with the details on getting your refund” (this all happened on a Friday obviously).
So I busted my ass and I spent that whole Saturday working on the paper (because it was due the following Saturday) and let me tell you it WAS NOT fun to have to sit there and work on a monitor that shut itself off every couple of seconds. But…I got most of the paper done by that Monday so that was cool.
So I’m getting ready for work the following Monday when I get a call from the woman I talked to the previous week who actually worked at the local FedEx and she said “We aren’t going to give you a refund because your package WAS delivered to your school after all. We realized we could take it to your mail room.”
So I go to the mail room during my lunch break and I ask “Do you have a package for box 60635?” and I get the monitor. It turns out that the jackasses in the mail room forgot to put the fucking package slip in my box the previous Thursday and it turned out that J Lowe was in fact “Jimmy Lowe” this friend of mine who I actually knew pretty well that worked in there.
So…things turned out okay in the end but I’m still really pissed that I had wait and suffer and work on my paper with my “ghetto monitor” when I could have just used my new monitor all along.
That week was a really shitty week all around though because I broke up with my woman and I had to basically reboot my computer to the factory settings because I got a couple of nasty porn viruses that basically shut it down.